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Let’s Reset Normal

Let’s Reset Normal

How is your time in our new normal going? We have been getting into a new routine which has been surprisingly good. A regular walk every day and experimenting with lots of yoga and barre on-line. We even went to the theatre as the National Theatre is streaming live at 7pm every Thursday evening. Well worth a watch!  Also, lots of innovation in the business.

This week I want to share news of an exciting initiative I have been involved in. 

Less than 2 weeks ago a friend of mine, Kevin Mcalpin, asked me if I would contribute towards a new free e-book to help the world survive coronavirus and social isolation. The purpose is to share experiences of how we can help each other to cope.  He has amassed a range of writers from across the world to share their ideas. I was honoured to be involved. I am sharing a pdf of the book. Please share with others and use the hashtag #letsresetnormal to get the book out to the world!

Ideas to Keep a Positive Mindset…an excerpt from my article in the book

Be aware of what you are focusing on. Our thoughts drive how we feel which ultimately drives our behaviour and our results. Ask yourself, where is my focus right now? Is it on the problem of Covid-19 and fake news? Or, is it on the opportunity for innovation, doing things differently in your life and your business?

’Where focus goes, energy flows’’

In my business, I am having daily brain-storming calls with my fellow Directors to explore how to take the business on-line and offer value now which helps me to feel good about the future and motivates me to take action!

Keep a daily journal to build your own awareness of what is going on in your focus and internal conversations as much of it will be unconscious.  It is important to build conscious awareness so you can begin to create new behaviours. Experiment incorporating “positive affirmations” into your new normal day.  If many times a day you are repeating some sort of “I can, I will” mantra in your head you will start to shift your thoughts about what is possible for you.

“Change your thoughts. Change your life.”

If you feel yourself going into a negative state, for an immediate shift in how you feel do something physical like going for a walk or simply get up, get moving, stand up straight and smile.

I hope these ideas inspire you to start now to build a new routine in your life and to think and feel more positive about the future.

Stay safe,

 Lindsey Agness and Team NLP x

Download your FREE copy:
Principles for success 

Join us for our next free webinar on the 15th April at 7pm where both myself and other members of Team NLP will be talking about how to stay positive and keep moving forwards in this crisis.

How to Avoid Getting Stuck in Crisis Mode

How to Avoid Getting Stuck in Crisis Mode

I am writing this from my own home where we were put into effective ‘lock-down’ this week.  My husband reluctantly closed the doors of his coffee shop exactly 6 years from the day he opened it – how ironic is that?  For the first time since 2005 when I started my consulting business, I have no work other than a few on-line coaching sessions.  So, this represents the biggest shift in our daily lives ever and the future of our businesses is uncertain. 

Social media is currently swamped with tips about how to deal with the crisis, yet most people are not following them.  They are not alone because information by itself does not get people to change their behaviour.  So why it is so hard for human beings to change their behaviour? 

In a crisis our routine goes out of the window which causes many of us to go into information overload along with high stress levels.  It’s feels a bit like attention deficit disorder or ADD as we find we can’t focus or concentrate on anything for very long.  Have you felt like this over the last few days? 

From a psychological perspective, we all have our unconscious habits and routines. In fact, Duke university measured in 2006 that at least 40% of our behaviours are entirely unconscious. This means that when we are triggered by certain things we behave in a certain way.  For example, every morning before I leave for work, I have toast and coffee for breakfast before catching the 6.30am train to London and so on.  So, when I am told to stay at home, and I can’t go to the office I am rapidly thrown off course.  The first thing we can all do is to recreate a feeling of stability in our lives and a structure to our day, especially now many of us are spending all day in the same place.  

This situation also creates a feeling of fear in many people.  We are scared of being hurt, we are scared of the economy, we are scared of not being in control, and now we are even scared of each other.  What can you do differently starting today? 

The risk that when in fear mode is that we feel stuck and end up doing what we know isn’t good for us such us spending all day eating and watching Netflix.  So, in our house we have been creating a new routine.  It is keeping to a similar timetable to ensure we all get enough sleep.  Sleep is needed for resilience.  For me personally, I make sure that I do my physical exercise followed by a full day in the home office working on priority tasks that I can do to ensure my business can survive into the future.  I stop at the ‘normal’ time and then have the evening for watching Netflix, reading and so on.  Start by asking yourself  ‘What is a normal day for me even in isolation?’.  This will start to re-create stability and structure.  Do it consciously and feel good about it. Next time more ideas to keep a positive mindset. 

More next time….

Stay safe,

 Lindsey Agness and Team NLP x

Download your FREE copy:
Principles for success 

Join us for our next free webinar on the 15th April at 7pm where both myself and other members of Team NLP will be talking about how to stay positive and keep moving forwards in this crisis.

How do you see the world?

How do you see the world?

There has been a lot in the media recently, especially since the untimely and very sad death of Caroline flack, about being kinder to each other. And, now we have the corona virus to deal with as it encroaches all of our lives.  This has been a lot on my mind as I believe that Neuro Linguistic Programming or NLP teaches us how to do this.  There are a set of beliefs of pre-suppositions of NLP which I want to talk about over several blogs. The presuppositions of NLP are otherwise known as convenient assumptions or beliefs, things that are plausible and generally good to assume. They form the bedrock for NLP in terms of helping relationships, improving communication and gaining the right mindsets for creating excellence and generally being good human beings.  At all of our trainings we expect our students to actively demonstrate they are applying these PSs in everything they do.  There are some differences between the schools of NLP about which is the ‘core’ set of PSs.  These are what I teach. 
 
The first one I want to talk about is having ‘Everyone has a unique Model of the World’. I remember that I was in my early 20’s, and a manager of staff for the very first time, when I noticed this to be the case.  I had an older member of staff (probably about the age I am now…lol) who just didn’t seem to understand the changes I wanted to make.  I realised then that we are all different and who is to say who is right and who is wrong? 

Rather than get into  conflict situation the challenge is to get into rapport to have any meaningful communication.  To do this it is important that you ‘Respect that other Person’s MOW’.  This is the next pre-supposition of NLP.  This doesn’t mean that we have to agree with the other person.  It does mean that we respect where they are coming from.  In having the curiosity to understand their viewpoint, we can then connect and find a place from which we can reach a satisfactory outcome.  Everyone has variances in the way they view the world based on their memories, beliefs, values and other internal filters. When you adopt these pre-suppositions, you can increase your effectiveness and sensitivity to the other person.  Change does not occur by standing at polar opposites, however, when you walk over in the other person’s shoes to see it from different angles, you can expand your own thinking and get a broader awareness of how to work together. 

I remember when I first stared work for a busy London Social Services office on the reception desk, my boss at the time explained to me that it was important that whoever came to the desk, whether I knew they were someone whose children had been taken away from them or a sweet old lady, it was my job to treat them the same, as I had no idea what had brought them each to the place they were at that moment.  As I got older and into NLP, I realised that was an embodiment of these pre-suppositions although I don’t think my boss had ever learnt NLP! 

The pre-suppositions are fundamental in building a more sensitive and kinder mindset in ourselves which is turn is mirrored in the world in which we live. 

More next time….

Download your FREE copy:
Principles for success 

Our next NLP Practitioner Course from the 9th – 15th May 2020 in Bexley Heath. Investment £1800 incl VAT

How can NLP help me?

How can NLP help me?

If you are serious about making a change in 2020 read on…

This week’s blog starts at the beginning of Neuro Linguistic Programming and explores what NLP is all about, where it came from and how it can help us. In the early 1970s, a linguist, John Grinder, and a mathematician, Richard Bandler, studied individuals who were excellent communicators and technicians of personal change.

What is the difference between somebody who is merely competent and somebody who excels at the same skill?” was the question they asked. The answers produced NLP: The Science of Excellence…The Art of Change.

They began by modelling world-class therapists. Later they moved onto other fields, including salespeople, presenters, trainers and leaders. By closely studying and modelling the beliefs, behaviours and strategies of these models of excellence, they were able to install that behaviour in themselves. As a result of this work, Bandler and Grinder formalised their modelling techniques and their own individual contributions under the name ‘Neuro Linguistic Programming’ – known as NLP – to symbolise the relationship between the brain, language and the body.

Unlike other approaches that tell you WHAT you need to do, NLP is a HOW-TO technology. It tells and shows you HOW TO be what you want to be, have what you want to have and do what you want to do. An intoxicating combination. This means it is possible to have the personal success you want now! For most people things happen and they react. NLP offers a better way. It gives you tools to react differently by choice, to be more aware of your thoughts, feelings and behaviour. You are then ready to take responsibility for your results in all areas of your life.

NLP provides a set of tools and techniques to help you deal with unhelpful patterns of thought and behaviours. Although there are many techniques in NLP you can make amazing changes by using just one technique. Let’s look at each part of NLP in turn:

Neuro is all about what we THINK – or our THOUGHTS.

Neuro means ‘what goes on inside our heads’. We have over 60000 thoughts a day. These form our internal world of pictures, sounds and feelings. It is these conversations, dialogues or arguments we have with ourselves in our thinking process that drive how we feel, our mood and ultimately how to respond to events. In NLP terms these are called our internal representations. For example, if you open your curtains on a miserable rainy day you may consequently feel lousy and this will drive how your day goes for you. Alternatively, you can open the curtains and think to yourself ‘it’s a brilliantly rainy day today!’ and go off and have fun. Another example would be if you are getting ready for an important night out – maybe with a potential new partner – you are excited and focused on the evening going well and how you will feel as a result. This will impact directly on the success of that meeting.

The critical point to realise is that we can control our thoughts. This is very important because how we feel, how we behave and ultimately the results we get are driven by combinations of these internal representations which form our repeating patterns or habits. We run these patterns or habits repeatedly unless they are interrupted or redirected. Sometimes these patterns serve us well but often they sabotage our potential success. The trick is to ensure that the 60000 thoughts you have every day are good ones! Work out for yourself what proportion of your thoughts are helping you to achieve what you want and what proportion are in some way keeping you stuck.

Linguistic is all about what we SAY, both verbally and non-verbally

Language determines how we communicate with other people and ourselves. It is how we label our experience and much more. Empowering language generates empowered behaviour. Likewise, negative language, such as excuses, is the result of disempowering thoughts and often happens without our realizing it. It’s negative language that limits our choices.

Much of our communication is non-verbal. This means how you say what you say (intonation, volume, speed, etc.) carries five times more information than the words spoken. And how you use your body (gestures, facial expressions, posture) is even more influential. As our thoughts and feelings literally ‘leak’ out of us through our bodies, consider what yours says about you? Do they portray low self-esteem or someone who has confidence and knows what they want?

Programming is all about what we DO.

We are all running programmes in our minds, all the time. These programmes, patterns of behaviour and strategies drive the way we behave, our performance and ultimately our results. A phobia is a good example of how the brain works. A particular situation or trigger, such as flying, produces a strong physical response (sweaty palms, fast breathing, panic, etc). The brain learns quickly and thereafter, every time the person is presented with the same stimulus, their body knows to have the same response. The amazing thing is people with phobias NEVER forget to have this response. This is the perfect one-time learning strategy! Often, as with phobias, you run strategies that do not serve – they even sabotage you. NLP teaches us how to change these ineffective strategies or programmes forever.

To bring it altogether, NLP symbolises the relationship between the brain, language and the body. It describes how what we say, think and do interplay and affect our body and our behaviour and our results.

 So, what next?

Download our free e-book and find out more about our success formula or browse our courses to see how Team NLP can help.

Download your FREE copy:
Principles for success 

New Team NLP course:
Online resilience 

From Stressed Out to Chilled Out

From Stressed Out to Chilled Out

How well do you cope with stress. Team NLP can help

You can think of your resilience as the amount of energy you have stored in an inner battery — energy you have available to use not only physically, but also mentally and emotionally. When you have a high level of resilience or a fully charged inner battery, you have greater capacity to remain calm, think clearly and be in control of your emotions so you don’t overreact. Like a drained car battery, when your inner battery is depleted, there isn’t energy to draw from when you need it, making it difficult to be at your best and respond well in tough, and sometimes very ordinary situations. We can describe differences in stress as good stress such as the ability to rise to a challenge, tolerable stress that we manage with the help of family, friends, colleagues and toxic stress when we feel out of control.  Toxic stress can lead to panic attacks, addictions, over-eating and so on.

This week on the Team NLP blog we discuss how to build our resilience using practical and easy strategies

Here are some useful and practical strategies to build your own resilience.  And, if it’s a topic of interest have a look at our new on-line resilience course details below.

Changing your Mindset

Part of our response to stress derives from our individual interpretation of events.  A person who thinks of challenges as opportunities to grow and who believes that failures are ways in which we can learn is likely to have a different response to a challenging event from person who treats challenge as threatening and failure as a devastating indication that they are no good as a person.  Stress is a response to our interpretation of events rather than to events themselves.  We therefore need to consider why individual interpretations of events differ.  Many people catastrophise and tell themselves a story which makes a possible outcome much worse than it turns out to be.  Are you one of these people?  If so, ask yourself, where’s my evidence for this story I am telling myself?  How would I like it to be instead?  Often developing a mantra that you can tell yourself in moments of toxic stress are useful. I always tell my self that ‘every problem has a solution’ and it works for me.

Developing confidence in your ability to solve problems and trusting your instincts helps build resilience. Keep things in perspective. Even when facing very painful events, try to consider the stressful situation in a broader context and keep a long-term perspective. Avoid blowing the event out of proportion.

Just Breathe

When you experience positive emotions, your physiology is naturally more coherent. This quickly recharges your inner battery and builds your resilience. You can intentionally create more coherence throughout the day by practising the following.

Step 1: Focus your attention in the area of the heart. Imagine your breath is flowing in and out of your heart or chest area, breathing a little slower and deeper than usual.

Suggestion: Inhale 5 seconds, exhale 5 seconds (or whatever rhythm is comfortable).

Step 2: Make a sincere attempt to experience a regenerative feeling such as appreciation or care for someone or something in your life.

Suggestion: Try to re-experience the feeling you have for someone you love, a pet, a special place, an accomplishment, etc., or focus on a feeling of calm or ease.

So, what next?

Next time we’ll be talking about how it can help if you align your goals with your purpose in life. Meanwhile, download our free e-book and find out more about our success formula, or browse our courses to see how Team NLP can help.

Download your FREE copy:
Principles for success 

New Team NLP course:
Online resilience