Something for everyone to help keep you going
Our weekly Team NLP blog where you will find inspiration and actionable advice on how to build healthy habits, resilience, and connections in our unprecedented times.
I have talked before about the fact that last year I set myself an audacious goal to write a blog every week in 2020. And I nearly did it! What a year it turned out to be with the onset of the pandemic early in the year. We were in Canada just before the UK went into its first lockdown and got one of the last flights out from Canada to get back home. It was a testing time. Nearly a year on, as I look back at my blogs, I realise that they tell a story of a remarkable year…the year that changed everything. So, I decided to put them altogether in a new e-book that not only tells the story of a remarkable year, it is filled with our best tips to keep going with grace and hope. This is a gift to you, and I hope that you will refresh yourself on how to get to or stay in a positive place where the gift of life is more important than anything else. Please find the e-book attached to this blog.
How did your life shift in 2020? We talk about our values being those things that are most important to us. How did your values shift in 2020 and what can you learn from that? My values moved away from business and towards family and good health and I am sure that will not change once life moves into a new place of connection. That doesn’t mean to say that work dropped off my priority list….in fact I was probably at my most creative in 2020 it’s just that I spend less time staring at the screen these days. How about you?
I also thought going into 2021 that it is important to explore our boundaries. How do you protect yourself and your ‘me time’ during the pandemic? A friend of mine just last week said that she needed to learn how to say ‘no’ to keep herself sane. Here are some ideas building on the work of Gill Mathias:
Here are seven ways you can set better boundaries and spend less energy people-pleasing:
1 – Get Crystal clear on your priorities.
Getting clear on your priorities will help you figure out what you’re willing to spend your time and energy on. If you find yourself always putting other people’s priorities above your own, it is time to change that.
2 – Communicate what you will not tolerate.
If the people around you are always doing or saying things that frustrate you to your core, you have to put your foot down. People will never know that what they’re doing is unacceptable if you never tell them. Be that person who speaks up when people are behaving in a way that makes you feel inferior or unappreciated. If something doesn’t feel right to you, you should make every effort to avoid it.
3 – Listen to your gut instinct.
Your gut instinct is usually right. You know the difference between excitement and dread. Use that instinct to help you make decisions. Don’t feel like you need to say yes to avoid hurting someone’s feelings. If you can’t decide whether to say yes or no to someone, this post I wrote about when to say no to an invitation will make the decision easier for you.
4 – Think about the impact of your actions.
Something that’s helped me to say no is asking what type of impact an opportunity will have on myself and others. Will it improve our lives or is there something that could make a bigger impact? Think about the amount of time something will take compared to the amount of positive impact it will have. If it will take up more time than it’s worth, say no.
5 – Do things because they make you feel good.
If you find it all too easy to try and make others happy, why not let yourself be happy for once? Make sure you spend time doing things that bring you joy and help you create a better work-life balance. We all know that self-care is not selfish – it’s necessary to live a healthy life. Schedule downtime and fun activities into your calendar. Treat them like important meetings with a client.
6 – Offer an alternative
If someone asks you to do something and you don’t think you’re the right person for the job, offer an alternative. Recommend a friend, a co-worker, or some kind of tool that could help get the job done. If you hate being unhelpful, this option gives you the opportunity to be cooperative without having to take on the task yourself.
7 – Be direct and firm with your answers.
Don’t let people talk you into or out of things. You can still be kind yet firm at the same time. Your friends might be bummed that you won’t make it to the party, but they should be able to get over it and respect your decision.
How to set boundaries
Remember that you are in control of your choices and your life. Don’t let other people dictate this for you. Set healthy boundaries and give yourself permission to do less people-pleasing.
Take care and keep safe.
Until next time.
Lindsey Agness and Team NLP