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Believe You Can

Believe You Can

believe-you-can2

‘’No one can make you feel inferior without your consent’’

Eleanor Roosevelt

How are you this week?  How is your comeback going?  We are excited about our first meal out for a very long-time next week at our favourite Italian restaurant! 

This week I have been delivering some sessions on beliefs and how they get in the way of creating success so I thought I would share some of the key ideas with you.  Changing beliefs is absolutely possible and necessary if the change you want to achieve is to stick. For example, when I teach somebody presentation skills I work at a number of levels. Students learn new skills and behaviours but that isn’t enough. They also need to believe that they are a great presenter. If they do not build new beliefs about being a great presenter the danger is that the limiting belief about themselves as a presenter will sabotage their new behaviours, skills, and capabilities. This also fits for our goals. If you set a goal for yourself that is not in alignment with your beliefs, how successful do you think you will be in achieving it? For example, your goal is to set up your own business and you have researched everything thoroughly. You have the skills and capabilities to be successful. However, you believe at a deep unconscious level that you are not good enough to have what you want. What impact will that have on your goal? That’s right, it will sabotage your focus from the start.

What can we do to start to shift beliefs?

Limiting beliefs about ourselves act as a self-fulfilling prophesy.  If our beliefs are limiting us, we act in a way that proves our beliefs to ourselves. However, if we have empowering beliefs, we act and behave in a way that releases our full potential and allows us to be our best selves.  Limiting beliefs fall into some key categories.  Here is how to spot them:

  • Negations – anytime you use a negation to describe anything about yourself e.g. I’m not clever, I can’t have a fulfilling relationship, I am not loveable etc
  • Comparatives – whenever you make a comparison such as I’m not good enough, I’m too old, I’m too poor etc
  • Or a mixture of both – I don’t have enough money

The first step to changing your beliefs is to become your own observer and listen to your inner voice and how you feel, especially when you want to do something different or to improve a current situation.  Ask yourself these three important questions when you notice the limiting belief coming up for you:

  • What’s my evidence for this limiting belief?
  • Where does this belief come from?
  • Is it real?

Often just asking these questions will help to start to shift beliefs that are holding you back as you realise that the majority are not real.  In fact, they are generalisations from your childhood which you have taken to be your truth and now it is the time for change. 

 

 Let me know how you get on.

To your success…

Lindsey and Team NLP

If you would like to know more about how Neuro Linguistic Programming can help you to change your limiting beliefs sign up for our 3 -hour online course ‘An Introduction to NLP’ which consists of videos and a manual.  Your investment is only £27.

If you would like to know more about how Neuro Linguistic Programming can help you to emerge from lockdown with renewed clarity and energy sign up to our next free webinar ‘Change Your Life with NLP’ on the 22nd July at 7pm.

The comeback week

The comeback week

The Commeback Week

How are you this week?  Did you use the tips to build your personal resilience last week?  I urge you to introduce as many as you can to get YOU into a good emotional state to move forwards into your personal COMEBACK.

In the UK the economy has been reopening, and, from the 4th July the majority of the things we all love and enjoy will reopen.  I personally cannot wait to get into my hairdresser!  Yes, life will be different, and it is time to move forwards.  So, this week I decided to write about our COMEBACK and ask if you are ready regardless of whether you have been furloughed, still working, wherever you are right now.  At Team NLP we have been using the time to build our online business and we are feeling very proud and rather emotional of how far we have come with the focus we have given this huge challenge!  We will be launching our new Team NLP Community Learning Platform in the very near future.  More about that very soon! 

This week I want to share our ‘Principles for Success’ to help you shape up for the future.  Taking even baby steps will mean you are taking your future seriously and taking action to get the absolute most out of your life. 

Principle No. 1- Get Clear on What You Want

As we go into the COMEBACK phase what are going to do differently?  What have you learnt during this unprecedented time?  Is it to:

  • Get your finances in shape so next time something like this happens again you are better prepared – even if you start investing a small amount every month
  • Continue to improve your levels of fitness that you started during lockdown
  • Improve your intimate relationship as it is the most important relationship in your life
  • If you have been made redundant, use the opportunity to start that business you have dreamed about for years
  • Move out of the city to a quieter, safer location

What is most important that you want to achieve over the next twelve months?  What really motivates you?  Now check that goal is SMART i.e. specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timed.  For example, I want to have more savings is not clear enough. I will invest £25 each week this year is clear.  Focus on your goal.  Whatever you put your attention on in your life will grow stronger.  Write down your goal and check that it is SMART.

Principle No. 2 – Know Why it is a Must

What are your reasons for wanting to achieve this goal?  List all the positive things that will happen when you achieve your goal.  Now ask yourself ‘If I don’t do this now what will it ultimately cost me?’  Notice that when you have enough compelling reasons for your goal you will be more motivated to go for it.

Principle No. 3 – Take Massive Action

 Are you prepared to do whatever it takes to achieve your goal including things you do not want to do?  Think right now of one small step you can take today to begin to move towards your goal.  Challenge yourself by asking if you are taking personal and 100% responsibility for your goal.  Because, to the extent that you do not, you are giving your personal power away.

Principle No. 4 – Know What you are Getting

Be very aware of what works and what doesn’t.  Ask for feedback, and constantly evaluate your approach.  Think of feedback as a gift and remember to learn from any action that doesn’t go quite to plan.

Principle No. 5 – Be Prepared to Change Your Approach

There is a saying ‘if you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got!  You must be prepared to be flexible and to move into the unknown.  Security is an attachment to the known and the known is our past.  No evolution in that.  When you experience uncertainty, you know you are on the right track – keep going because this is the moment when lots of women will give up.    

Principle No. 6 – Ask for Help from Those who are Already Successful

When making changes, the most successful people in life model those who have already ‘done it’.  They do this by mixing with like-minded people, going on courses, being coached or simply asking for advice.  You will find that with the appropriate support you the process of change becomes less scary and more enjoyable and your chances of success will be greatly increased.

Let me know how you get on.

To your success…

Lindsey and Team NLP

Download your FREE copy:
Principles for success – This is all about the 8 Attitudes that form a growth mindset that will literally change your life.  What have you got to lose?  And, more importantly, what have you got to gain?

If you would like to know more about how Neuro Linguistic Programming can help you to emerge from lockdown with renewed clarity and energy sign up to our next free webinar ‘Change Your Life with NLP’ on the 22nd July at 7pm.

What’s one of the most searched terms on the internet right now?

What’s one of the most searched terms on the internet right now?

internet terms right now

Welcome to my weekly blog where you’ll find inspiration and actionable advice on how to build healthy habits, resilience and connections in our unprecedented times.

Last week I spoke about my challenge of keeping going in the ‘sameness’ of current life.  Hopefully, things will start to open up even more on the 4th July when we might be able to finally stay away overnight or have a meal out.  In the meantime, for those of you struggling with everything that is going on right now I want to share our top tips to build resilience:

  1. Make Connections – Identify in advance who the people are that support you.  The people that you can call on and who you trust and respect.  Maybe they are people who make you laugh, or someone you can simply let off steam with.  These are your champions.  Think of them in advance so if needed you know who and how to contact them.

 

  1. Physical Health – To be truly resilient your physical health needs to be as good as possible.  The 3 big ones here are Sleep, Exercise and Nutrition.  To improve the quality of your sleep switch off your mobile, tablet or computer at least 2 hours before sleeping, develop a regular routine.  Eat a healthy well-balanced diet as not only does it boost your resilience it also boosts your immune system.  Exercise regularly and keep moving. Find some form of exercise that you enjoy from yoga, walking, running, high intensity workouts or whatever else you enjoy.  Any of these will help to release vitality hormones.

 

  1. S.E.T – Start to be aware of your emotions and if they are helping you feel stress free.  Start noticing signs in your body.  It is scientifically proven that you get a sensation 10 seconds before you are aware of the attached emotion.  Identify what the emotion is.  Ask yourself is this emotion serving me and if not, what emotion would be better, choose how you would prefer to feel.   Sensation Emotion Thoughts.

 

  1. Self-Check In – Set an alarm on your watch or phone for 3 – 4 times a day.  Ask yourself “where am I now” And this isn’t about your physical location!  Ask yourself ‘how am I feeling?  Where are my stress levels right now?  If you are feeling great keep doing what you are doing, if not, then assess what activity, conversation or emotion would help to change it.

 

  1. Photos – These can be a great reminder of places, people and experiences that make you feel happy.  For example, from family and friends to your favourite place or food.  Photos help to trigger memories and change your chemical balance.
  1. Memories – Start to build a bank of positive memories. Maybe, a time when you achieved something that you previously thought was impossible.  A time when you felt proud, or determined, confident and motivated.  Go back to the memory and see what you saw, hear what you heard and feel what you felt.  What can you learn from this previous situation that could help you now?
  1. Know Your Triggers – Know in advance what situations add to your stress level and lower your resilience.   Notice how in these situations you behave differently and design alternative and more productive activities.
  1. Plan Strategies – When you know what your triggers are then you can plan alternative strategies in advance for these times. It is preparing to be more resilient.
  1. Be Kind – To yourself as well as others. Think about the oxygen masks on a plane.  You are always asked to fix yours before helping others.  The same applies to you.  Be kind to yourself first.  Appreciate all that is positive in you and give yourself permission to be human.
  1. Just Breath – It sounds like the obvious after all you have done it all of your life. Practice heart focused breathing, some smart watches even remind people throughout the day to take a breath.  Breathe a little deeper and a little longer than you normally would.  For example, 6 seconds inhale and 6 seconds exhale, gets you into a healthy, balanced rhythm.  Whilst breathing see if you can think of a pleasant memory.  Someone, somewhere, or something that makes you feel good.  This takes you to a calm and alert state and reduces the flow of cortisol in your body.  Do your best to do this 3 times a day for 2 minutes.  It not only resets our Autonomic Nervous System and gives hormonal balance it also boosts the immune system.

Let me know how you get on.

To your success…

Lindsey and Team NLP

Download your FREE copy:
Principles for success – This is all about the 8 Attitudes that form a growth mindset that will literally change your life.  What have you got to lose?  And, more importantly, what have you got to gain?

If you would like to know more about how Neuro Linguistic Programming can help you to emerge from lockdown with renewed clarity and energy sign up for the recordings of our 3 hour ‘Introduction to NLP’ for only £27 including an e-manual and opportunity for email support.

Are you bored yet?

Are you bored yet?

are you bored yet

How are you feeling this week?  I have always enjoyed the variety of my work, especially travelling around different countries, and meeting new people.  So, I am starting to struggle with the ‘sameness’ of our current lives.  I was talking to my husband last week about the fact that for the first time in my life I can predict what I am going to be doing each day and it feels very weird!  I know that in NLP terms I am a person who prefers difference to sameness so my challenge each week is how to create more variety within the current boundaries of my daily life.  How about you?  Are you a difference or a sameness person?  How are you coping? If you are a sameness person I wonder how it is affecting you? 

This week I want to write a bit about our eating habits during lockdown as I am reading that many people are getting into some bad habits.  Last week I wrote about our conscious mind being the ‘Goal-Setter’.  But, our unconscious mind, which we call the ‘goal-getter’ does the job of achieving our goal.  It is the alignment between these two that sets us up for success.  Those people who take action are the ones who will achieve their goal.  This week I want to speak about our use of language in the context of food. 

As we know, the ‘L’ in NLP stands for linguistic and relates to the effect our language has on our feelings and our actions. Our subconscious mind takes what we say literally, so if you say to yourself ‘I’m famished’, your brain will encourage you to overeat. Often the words we use mask the real problem, meaning that when we tell ourselves that we feel hunger, very often this is not the case at all. What we are really feeling is sadness, loneliness, boredom, or stress.  So next time you have a craving, ask yourself ‘Am I really hungry or am I feeling a different emotion?’ Be honest with yourself. If it’s not hunger, then tell yourself instead ‘I am in control of what I eat and I do not need to eat now.’ Then deal with the emotion. Whatever you tell yourself, your mind will absorb and accept. If you change your language, you will change how you feel in an instant. Getting into the habit of telling yourself positive messages is very effective at helping you to avoid unnecessary eating and to deal with the real emotions you are feeling. If you are lonely, arrange to see a friend online or pick up the phone to someone you have not spoken to in a while. If you are miserable, do something that will cheer you up such as treating yourself to something.  Or if you are stressed, go for a walk, or do anything that gets you up and moving about.   And, if like me you’re a bit bored, plan a night in that gives you something to look forward to other than Netflix! The important thing is to break the pattern by doing something different.  Let me know how you get on.

To your success…

 Lindsey Agness and Team NLP x

Download your FREE copy:
Principles for success – This is all about the 8 Attitudes that form a growth mindset that will literally change your life.  What have you got to lose?  And, more importantly, what have you got to gain?

FREE webinar this week

If you would like to know more about how Neuro Linguistic Programming can help you to emerge from lockdown with renewed clarity and energy sign up for our free webinar ‘Change Your Life with NLP’ on the 17th June at 7pm.
Sign up here !

 

How are you feeling this week?  It feels to me like we are at a pivot point.  It is not as it was 10 weeks ago when the world pressed pause.  Neither is it ever going back to how it was.  I would describe myself as optimistic and yet it feels like it is going to be tough for many people as we slowly create our ‘new normal’.  Many people are likely to lose their jobs which will impact on all areas of the economy.  At Team NLP, we have adopted a strategy of taking our NLP courses online so we can keep going in the new future.  I am wondering what are you doing to prepare yourself for the wave of change that is only going to increase over the next few months?  One thing we can all do is to get ready, to be prepared.  This is the focus of the blog today as I talk about goal setting and increasing personal resilience to increase our chances of success. 

We are currently running our first online NLP Practitioner and have just finished the module on goal setting.  It reminded me of the success team that we potentially have working for us – our conscious and unconscious minds.  If I were to ask you if you have every achieved a goal I am sure you would say ‘yes’ And, equally if I said to you have you ever not achieved a goal I expect you would also say ‘yes’.  So, the issue is how to adopt strategies that enable us to consistently achieve our goals.  Maybe you are one of those who is thinking what is the point of setting goals anyway in such uncertain times?  My view is that it is absolutely the right time to be setting goals to come out of this unprecedented period geared up for change rather than ‘hoping for the best’.  Let’s find out how we do this successfully…

Our conscious mind does the easier stuff of setting the goal.  We call it the ‘Goal-Setter’.  Our unconscious mind does the job of achieving our goal.  We call it the ‘Goal-Getter’.  It is the alignment between these two that sets us up for success.  Those people who take action are the ones who will achieve their goal.  This means continually taking action until you get there!  And, yet what often gets in the way of taking action?  That’s right it’s our limiting beliefs about what is possible for us.  Changing beliefs is possible and necessary if change is to stick. For example, if you set a goal for yourself that is not in alignment with your beliefs, how successful do you think you will be in achieving it? For example, your goal is to set up your own business and you have researched everything thoroughly. You have the skills and capabilities to be successful. However, you believe at a deep unconscious level that you are not good enough to have what you want. What impact will that have on your goal? That’s right, it will sabotage your focus from the start.  So where do you start?  Here are some tips:

  • Build your own personal resilience so you know you can keep going with the energy and motivation levels that you need
  • Focus on goals that are important to you not what you think you ‘should’ do
  • Start to become your own observer and identify your own limiting beliefs – once you know what they are you can start the process of letting them go
  • Surround yourself with people who will support you in your journey
  • Get feedback and be willing to change your approach if needed

To your success…

Lindsey and Team NLP

Join our on-line course ‘The Art of Resilience’ 

In these unprecedented times we are all facing new challenges, stressing more, and feeling more fearful than we normally would.  When we feel like this, we release 1400 biochemicals into our body that can negatively impact our immune system just when we need it to be at its best.  Our online course gives you practical strategies to build your personal resilience.  It is offered in 3 x 1-hour sessions using zoom at 6pm on the 8th, 10th, 12th June.  Cost is £27 which includes an e-manual and a recording of all sessions.  Unavailable on these dates?  You will still get the full training via the manual and recordings.  There has never been a more important time to put your well-being first! Sign up Here!

Heart Centred Breathing to Help Restore Your Resilience

Heart Centred Breathing to Help Restore Your Resilience

How are you feeling this week? As lockdown in the UK gradually unfolds perhaps you are beginning to feel a bit better as some of the things you hold dear are starting to return.  We are planning a trip out to see friends for the first time in months this week and to sit in their beautiful garden and chill out.  Looking forward to that! 

How did you get on with the anchoring last week?  Did you experiment with the exercise?  How did it go?  We always like to get feedback.  This week we are staying with the same theme of learning how we can change our state in an instant.  Would it be helpful to learn a technique that will calm down your heart rate and your state in a moment?

The corona virus means that we are living through exceptionally stressful times.  When we experience stress our Autonomic Nervous System or ANS (which does all the things we do not have to think about) goes into overdrive.  It is that part of us that gets us ready to fight or flight.  A hormone called cortisol is released and you will feel your heart rate going up.  This is helpful if you need to run away or flight, but, not good if it is in the system for too long.  It also leads to chaotic heart rhythms.  When we naturally experience positive emotions our hearts go into a coherent, calmer state.  We can learn to self-generate this and I am going to show you how…

When we create adrenaline and cortisol in the body is starts to go out of balance and this has an effect on the brain.  The part of your brain that helps you to self-regulate i.e. the Pre-frontal cortex goes off-line.  And, chaotic signals go to up to the part of the brain called the amygdala, the home of the fight, flight emotions. We can effectively hack into our ANS and shift our heart rhythms back into balance by getting a state of coherence.  This sends a different info to the brain and the stress centre receives the info, it then de-activates and the PFC comes back online.

What is coherence?  It is a measurable, scientific state when the heart and brain synchronise.  The result is that you feel in balance and have an increased capacity to be in control of yourself.  I am going to teach you a very quick and easy technique that you can do anytime and anywhere that will help to calm down your system.  You can do this eyes open and, in the moment, when you notice you are experiencing stress. It is an optimal state of being.  This technique is called heart-centred breathing.  You start by focusing your attention in the area of your heart – it can help to put your hand on your hand and bring all your awareness to this spot.  Imagine your breath flowing in and out of your heart area a little slower and deeper than usual.  Some tips:

  • Breath through your nose as nasal breathing kills bugs, more oxygen, synchronises heart and brain. It creates a workout for the heart and lungs
  • Experiment with breathing in for 5 seconds and out for 5 seconds.
  • Keep it smooth and sustained
  • And relax your belly

It is as simple as that.  Just remember to do it!

Recover with clarity

Lindsey Agness and Team NLP

Download your FREE copy:
Principles for success – This is all about the 8 Attitudes that form a growth mindset that will literally change your life.  What have you got to lose?  And, more importantly, what have you got to gain?

Online NLP Introductory Diploma Want to learn more about how Neuro Linguistic Programming can help you to emerge from lockdown with renewed clarity and energy? Come and join us at our online NLP Introductory Diploma. I will personally be running 3 x 1hr sessions on zoom on the 26th, 28th May and 1st June at 2pm UK time.  Cost is £27 which includes a e-manual and recording of all sessions and a completion certificate.  Unable to attend all the dates?  No worries as you will still get the full training via the recordings.  Sign up here!