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What are you fearful of?

What are you fearful of?

What are you fearful of

Our weekly Team NLP blog where you’ll find inspiration and actionable advice on how to build healthy habits, resilience and connections in our unprecedented times.

How are you getting on?  This week I want to focus on what keeps people living in fear which I believe is very relevant now as we move our lives towards a new reality.  For many people life goes on pretty much the same and for others there are new choices to be made – how do I find a new job or career, how do I keep my business afloat, how do I stay motivated when everything around me is changing, how do I keep my relationship going which has been difficult to maintain during lockdown?  As humans, it’s the emotion of fear keeps most often keeps us stuck.  We are scared of moving into the unknown, of doing something different.  What we are not so good at is determining the real from the imagined.  Fear comes from limiting beliefs that we have about ourselves and our abilities, and of course, our situation.  However, what we forget to separate out what is FACT or EVIDENCE and what we MAKE UP in our heads.  So, what happens is that we often build up the consequences of us making a change to mean something far worse than the actual reality of the situation.

Here’s a great acronym for fear:

False

Evidence

Appearing

Real

 Our minds are brilliant at creating the worst case scenario in our heads, and then that’s what we begin to focus on as our reality. Soon we forget that it’s not real. We make huge assumptions about what may or may not be true based upon the story we have created in our heads. 

It takes one of two things to move people out of their comfort zone. Either you have a goal that is so compelling you will take the risk of going for it. Or, in contrast, the pain becomes so great that you are finally tipped over the edge to do something differently. 

Which one influences us often depends upon the way we are motivated. In NLP we talk about people being ‘towards’ or ‘away from’ motivated. Think about it. Do you move away from what you don’t want or move towards what you do want? Are you a ‘stick’ or a ‘carrot’ person? For example, if you want to lose weight, do you move towards a goal of being fit and healthy and have a motivational image in your mind of you in that skimpy new outfit, or do you move away from being fat and focus on an image of you overweight and bulging out of that special outfit?

One of the limitations of ‘away from’ motivation is that it often dwindles once short-term improvements are gained. For example, a person will start off well, take action and before too long are moving in the right direction. As they begin to notice improvements in their life, they become comfortable again. As if by magic, their motivation vaporises and their action dwindles to nothing. This is the reason why so many diets do not work, because as soon as your target weight is reached you feel comfortable again and are tempted to slip back into old habits. The alternative is to move towards a healthy lifestyle where taking exercise becomes part of a way of life.

Ask yourself the following question and make a note of your answers:

‘’What do I want in my life?’’

Notice how many of your answers start with what you don’t want as opposed to what you do want. If the majority of your answers focus on what you don’t want you are more ‘away from’ motivated. For example, ‘I don’t want to be poor’ is an example of an away from motivated goal.’ If your answers focus more on what you do want you are more ‘towards’ motivated. For example, ‘’I want to be fit and healthy’’ or I want abundance in my life’ are examples of a towards motivated goal.’

The good news is that you always have other choices even if it doesn’t seem that way right now. If you don’t believe you have other choices at the moment, I want you to humour me and pretend that it’s true. What difference would that make to you?  What action would you take? 

To your success…

Lindsey and Team NLP

If you would like to know how NLP can help you to emerge from lockdown with renewed clarity and energy sign up to our next free webinar ‘Change Your Life with NLP’ on the 26th August at 7pm.

Download your FREE copy:
Principles for success – This is all about the 8 Attitudes that form a growth mindset that will literally change your life.  What have you got to lose?  And, more importantly, what have you got to gain?

Free webinar

Our weekly Team NLP blog where you’ll find inspiration and actionable advice on how to build healthy habits, resilience and connections in our unprecedented times.

How are you getting on?  This week I want to invite you to our next free webinar on the 22nd July at 7pm which this time is all about how to move out of the fuzzy covid-brain space and into success!

What has been most on your mind this week?  Maybe you are deciding how to pivot your business to thrive post pandemic.  We have certainly been doing a lot of that as we are now taking most of our business online to offer blended NLP solutions to our students.  Or maybe you have been deciding whether to step into the world again and to go for wearing the mask or not?  We ventured out to the shops and to a restaurant this week and it was a very different experience.  Even my hairdressers had changed beyond recognition and many of the things I used to enjoy like a nice coffee whilst reading the latest Vogue had disappeared. 

You might think that we will come out of the pandemic feeling and thinking more sharply about the future.  Yet, on the contrary, many people are feeling fuzzy headed and emotionally fragile at the moment. I certainly had a very challenging couple of days this week without really understanding why I felt the way that I did.  Fortunately, I have my NLP toolkit that kicks in on these sorts of days.  And I want to share with you the strategies that I use.  So put the 22nd July at 7pm into your diaries now and sign up below. 

Here’s the link to the free webinar

I have been studying neuroscience these past couple of years and was interested to read what INSEAD neuroscientist Hilke Plassmann has to say about our brain’s response to covid-19…

She says that we are not just sleep deprived and stressed, we are experiencing the effects of very real brain changes brought on by the trauma and uncertainty of the pandemic. In a recent INSEAD Knowledge article written together with her INSEAD colleague Benjamin Kessler, she dubs the phenomenon “COVID brain” and explains its physiological roots: 

‘’In times like these, our brains tend to work differently. The prefrontal cortex, the area of the brain responsible for complex planning, working memory and analytical thinking, is swamped with ambiguous signals, impacting our decision-making abilities. Meanwhile, the brain scours its long-term memory systems for comparable experiences. Finding few precedents for this pandemic, it looks intently outward for guidance on what to do next.  The combination of impaired analytical thinking and heightened external sensitivity creates what can be called ‘Covid-19 brain’ – a fragile, frazzled state that keeps our thoughts simultaneously on edge and unfocused.’’

Although we do not have all the answers, at Team NLP we do have some very pragmatic suggestions for you on our webinar.  For example, how to deal with overwhelm, how to stay positive, how to build your personal resilience.  Would that be useful for you?  Please sign up below and looking forward to seeing you on the 22nd.  And, if you miss the webinar there will be a recording. 

To your success…

Lindsey and Team NLP

Download your FREE copy:
Principles for success – This is all about the 8 Attitudes that form a growth mindset that will literally change your life.  What have you got to lose?  And, more importantly, what have you got to gain?

If you would like to know more about how Neuro Linguistic Programming can help you to emerge from lockdown with renewed clarity and energy sign up to our next free webinar ‘Change Your Life with NLP’ on the 22nd July at 7pm.

Believe You Can

Believe You Can

believe-you-can2

‘’No one can make you feel inferior without your consent’’

Eleanor Roosevelt

How are you this week?  How is your comeback going?  We are excited about our first meal out for a very long-time next week at our favourite Italian restaurant! 

This week I have been delivering some sessions on beliefs and how they get in the way of creating success so I thought I would share some of the key ideas with you.  Changing beliefs is absolutely possible and necessary if the change you want to achieve is to stick. For example, when I teach somebody presentation skills I work at a number of levels. Students learn new skills and behaviours but that isn’t enough. They also need to believe that they are a great presenter. If they do not build new beliefs about being a great presenter the danger is that the limiting belief about themselves as a presenter will sabotage their new behaviours, skills, and capabilities. This also fits for our goals. If you set a goal for yourself that is not in alignment with your beliefs, how successful do you think you will be in achieving it? For example, your goal is to set up your own business and you have researched everything thoroughly. You have the skills and capabilities to be successful. However, you believe at a deep unconscious level that you are not good enough to have what you want. What impact will that have on your goal? That’s right, it will sabotage your focus from the start.

What can we do to start to shift beliefs?

Limiting beliefs about ourselves act as a self-fulfilling prophesy.  If our beliefs are limiting us, we act in a way that proves our beliefs to ourselves. However, if we have empowering beliefs, we act and behave in a way that releases our full potential and allows us to be our best selves.  Limiting beliefs fall into some key categories.  Here is how to spot them:

  • Negations – anytime you use a negation to describe anything about yourself e.g. I’m not clever, I can’t have a fulfilling relationship, I am not loveable etc
  • Comparatives – whenever you make a comparison such as I’m not good enough, I’m too old, I’m too poor etc
  • Or a mixture of both – I don’t have enough money

The first step to changing your beliefs is to become your own observer and listen to your inner voice and how you feel, especially when you want to do something different or to improve a current situation.  Ask yourself these three important questions when you notice the limiting belief coming up for you:

  • What’s my evidence for this limiting belief?
  • Where does this belief come from?
  • Is it real?

Often just asking these questions will help to start to shift beliefs that are holding you back as you realise that the majority are not real.  In fact, they are generalisations from your childhood which you have taken to be your truth and now it is the time for change. 

 

 Let me know how you get on.

To your success…

Lindsey and Team NLP

If you would like to know more about how Neuro Linguistic Programming can help you to change your limiting beliefs sign up for our 3 -hour online course ‘An Introduction to NLP’ which consists of videos and a manual.  Your investment is only £27.

If you would like to know more about how Neuro Linguistic Programming can help you to emerge from lockdown with renewed clarity and energy sign up to our next free webinar ‘Change Your Life with NLP’ on the 22nd July at 7pm.

The comeback week

The comeback week

The Commeback Week

How are you this week?  Did you use the tips to build your personal resilience last week?  I urge you to introduce as many as you can to get YOU into a good emotional state to move forwards into your personal COMEBACK.

In the UK the economy has been reopening, and, from the 4th July the majority of the things we all love and enjoy will reopen.  I personally cannot wait to get into my hairdresser!  Yes, life will be different, and it is time to move forwards.  So, this week I decided to write about our COMEBACK and ask if you are ready regardless of whether you have been furloughed, still working, wherever you are right now.  At Team NLP we have been using the time to build our online business and we are feeling very proud and rather emotional of how far we have come with the focus we have given this huge challenge!  We will be launching our new Team NLP Community Learning Platform in the very near future.  More about that very soon! 

This week I want to share our ‘Principles for Success’ to help you shape up for the future.  Taking even baby steps will mean you are taking your future seriously and taking action to get the absolute most out of your life. 

Principle No. 1- Get Clear on What You Want

As we go into the COMEBACK phase what are going to do differently?  What have you learnt during this unprecedented time?  Is it to:

  • Get your finances in shape so next time something like this happens again you are better prepared – even if you start investing a small amount every month
  • Continue to improve your levels of fitness that you started during lockdown
  • Improve your intimate relationship as it is the most important relationship in your life
  • If you have been made redundant, use the opportunity to start that business you have dreamed about for years
  • Move out of the city to a quieter, safer location

What is most important that you want to achieve over the next twelve months?  What really motivates you?  Now check that goal is SMART i.e. specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timed.  For example, I want to have more savings is not clear enough. I will invest £25 each week this year is clear.  Focus on your goal.  Whatever you put your attention on in your life will grow stronger.  Write down your goal and check that it is SMART.

Principle No. 2 – Know Why it is a Must

What are your reasons for wanting to achieve this goal?  List all the positive things that will happen when you achieve your goal.  Now ask yourself ‘If I don’t do this now what will it ultimately cost me?’  Notice that when you have enough compelling reasons for your goal you will be more motivated to go for it.

Principle No. 3 – Take Massive Action

 Are you prepared to do whatever it takes to achieve your goal including things you do not want to do?  Think right now of one small step you can take today to begin to move towards your goal.  Challenge yourself by asking if you are taking personal and 100% responsibility for your goal.  Because, to the extent that you do not, you are giving your personal power away.

Principle No. 4 – Know What you are Getting

Be very aware of what works and what doesn’t.  Ask for feedback, and constantly evaluate your approach.  Think of feedback as a gift and remember to learn from any action that doesn’t go quite to plan.

Principle No. 5 – Be Prepared to Change Your Approach

There is a saying ‘if you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got!  You must be prepared to be flexible and to move into the unknown.  Security is an attachment to the known and the known is our past.  No evolution in that.  When you experience uncertainty, you know you are on the right track – keep going because this is the moment when lots of women will give up.    

Principle No. 6 – Ask for Help from Those who are Already Successful

When making changes, the most successful people in life model those who have already ‘done it’.  They do this by mixing with like-minded people, going on courses, being coached or simply asking for advice.  You will find that with the appropriate support you the process of change becomes less scary and more enjoyable and your chances of success will be greatly increased.

Let me know how you get on.

To your success…

Lindsey and Team NLP

Download your FREE copy:
Principles for success – This is all about the 8 Attitudes that form a growth mindset that will literally change your life.  What have you got to lose?  And, more importantly, what have you got to gain?

If you would like to know more about how Neuro Linguistic Programming can help you to emerge from lockdown with renewed clarity and energy sign up to our next free webinar ‘Change Your Life with NLP’ on the 22nd July at 7pm.

What’s one of the most searched terms on the internet right now?

What’s one of the most searched terms on the internet right now?

internet terms right now

Welcome to my weekly blog where you’ll find inspiration and actionable advice on how to build healthy habits, resilience and connections in our unprecedented times.

Last week I spoke about my challenge of keeping going in the ‘sameness’ of current life.  Hopefully, things will start to open up even more on the 4th July when we might be able to finally stay away overnight or have a meal out.  In the meantime, for those of you struggling with everything that is going on right now I want to share our top tips to build resilience:

  1. Make Connections – Identify in advance who the people are that support you.  The people that you can call on and who you trust and respect.  Maybe they are people who make you laugh, or someone you can simply let off steam with.  These are your champions.  Think of them in advance so if needed you know who and how to contact them.

 

  1. Physical Health – To be truly resilient your physical health needs to be as good as possible.  The 3 big ones here are Sleep, Exercise and Nutrition.  To improve the quality of your sleep switch off your mobile, tablet or computer at least 2 hours before sleeping, develop a regular routine.  Eat a healthy well-balanced diet as not only does it boost your resilience it also boosts your immune system.  Exercise regularly and keep moving. Find some form of exercise that you enjoy from yoga, walking, running, high intensity workouts or whatever else you enjoy.  Any of these will help to release vitality hormones.

 

  1. S.E.T – Start to be aware of your emotions and if they are helping you feel stress free.  Start noticing signs in your body.  It is scientifically proven that you get a sensation 10 seconds before you are aware of the attached emotion.  Identify what the emotion is.  Ask yourself is this emotion serving me and if not, what emotion would be better, choose how you would prefer to feel.   Sensation Emotion Thoughts.

 

  1. Self-Check In – Set an alarm on your watch or phone for 3 – 4 times a day.  Ask yourself “where am I now” And this isn’t about your physical location!  Ask yourself ‘how am I feeling?  Where are my stress levels right now?  If you are feeling great keep doing what you are doing, if not, then assess what activity, conversation or emotion would help to change it.

 

  1. Photos – These can be a great reminder of places, people and experiences that make you feel happy.  For example, from family and friends to your favourite place or food.  Photos help to trigger memories and change your chemical balance.
  1. Memories – Start to build a bank of positive memories. Maybe, a time when you achieved something that you previously thought was impossible.  A time when you felt proud, or determined, confident and motivated.  Go back to the memory and see what you saw, hear what you heard and feel what you felt.  What can you learn from this previous situation that could help you now?
  1. Know Your Triggers – Know in advance what situations add to your stress level and lower your resilience.   Notice how in these situations you behave differently and design alternative and more productive activities.
  1. Plan Strategies – When you know what your triggers are then you can plan alternative strategies in advance for these times. It is preparing to be more resilient.
  1. Be Kind – To yourself as well as others. Think about the oxygen masks on a plane.  You are always asked to fix yours before helping others.  The same applies to you.  Be kind to yourself first.  Appreciate all that is positive in you and give yourself permission to be human.
  1. Just Breath – It sounds like the obvious after all you have done it all of your life. Practice heart focused breathing, some smart watches even remind people throughout the day to take a breath.  Breathe a little deeper and a little longer than you normally would.  For example, 6 seconds inhale and 6 seconds exhale, gets you into a healthy, balanced rhythm.  Whilst breathing see if you can think of a pleasant memory.  Someone, somewhere, or something that makes you feel good.  This takes you to a calm and alert state and reduces the flow of cortisol in your body.  Do your best to do this 3 times a day for 2 minutes.  It not only resets our Autonomic Nervous System and gives hormonal balance it also boosts the immune system.

Let me know how you get on.

To your success…

Lindsey and Team NLP

Download your FREE copy:
Principles for success – This is all about the 8 Attitudes that form a growth mindset that will literally change your life.  What have you got to lose?  And, more importantly, what have you got to gain?

If you would like to know more about how Neuro Linguistic Programming can help you to emerge from lockdown with renewed clarity and energy sign up for the recordings of our 3 hour ‘Introduction to NLP’ for only £27 including an e-manual and opportunity for email support.