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How can NLP help me?

How can NLP help me?

If you are serious about making a change in 2020 read on…

This week’s blog starts at the beginning of Neuro Linguistic Programming and explores what NLP is all about, where it came from and how it can help us. In the early 1970s, a linguist, John Grinder, and a mathematician, Richard Bandler, studied individuals who were excellent communicators and technicians of personal change.

What is the difference between somebody who is merely competent and somebody who excels at the same skill?” was the question they asked. The answers produced NLP: The Science of Excellence…The Art of Change.

They began by modelling world-class therapists. Later they moved onto other fields, including salespeople, presenters, trainers and leaders. By closely studying and modelling the beliefs, behaviours and strategies of these models of excellence, they were able to install that behaviour in themselves. As a result of this work, Bandler and Grinder formalised their modelling techniques and their own individual contributions under the name ‘Neuro Linguistic Programming’ – known as NLP – to symbolise the relationship between the brain, language and the body.

Unlike other approaches that tell you WHAT you need to do, NLP is a HOW-TO technology. It tells and shows you HOW TO be what you want to be, have what you want to have and do what you want to do. An intoxicating combination. This means it is possible to have the personal success you want now! For most people things happen and they react. NLP offers a better way. It gives you tools to react differently by choice, to be more aware of your thoughts, feelings and behaviour. You are then ready to take responsibility for your results in all areas of your life.

NLP provides a set of tools and techniques to help you deal with unhelpful patterns of thought and behaviours. Although there are many techniques in NLP you can make amazing changes by using just one technique. Let’s look at each part of NLP in turn:

Neuro is all about what we THINK – or our THOUGHTS.

Neuro means ‘what goes on inside our heads’. We have over 60000 thoughts a day. These form our internal world of pictures, sounds and feelings. It is these conversations, dialogues or arguments we have with ourselves in our thinking process that drive how we feel, our mood and ultimately how to respond to events. In NLP terms these are called our internal representations. For example, if you open your curtains on a miserable rainy day you may consequently feel lousy and this will drive how your day goes for you. Alternatively, you can open the curtains and think to yourself ‘it’s a brilliantly rainy day today!’ and go off and have fun. Another example would be if you are getting ready for an important night out – maybe with a potential new partner – you are excited and focused on the evening going well and how you will feel as a result. This will impact directly on the success of that meeting.

The critical point to realise is that we can control our thoughts. This is very important because how we feel, how we behave and ultimately the results we get are driven by combinations of these internal representations which form our repeating patterns or habits. We run these patterns or habits repeatedly unless they are interrupted or redirected. Sometimes these patterns serve us well but often they sabotage our potential success. The trick is to ensure that the 60000 thoughts you have every day are good ones! Work out for yourself what proportion of your thoughts are helping you to achieve what you want and what proportion are in some way keeping you stuck.

Linguistic is all about what we SAY, both verbally and non-verbally

Language determines how we communicate with other people and ourselves. It is how we label our experience and much more. Empowering language generates empowered behaviour. Likewise, negative language, such as excuses, is the result of disempowering thoughts and often happens without our realizing it. It’s negative language that limits our choices.

Much of our communication is non-verbal. This means how you say what you say (intonation, volume, speed, etc.) carries five times more information than the words spoken. And how you use your body (gestures, facial expressions, posture) is even more influential. As our thoughts and feelings literally ‘leak’ out of us through our bodies, consider what yours says about you? Do they portray low self-esteem or someone who has confidence and knows what they want?

Programming is all about what we DO.

We are all running programmes in our minds, all the time. These programmes, patterns of behaviour and strategies drive the way we behave, our performance and ultimately our results. A phobia is a good example of how the brain works. A particular situation or trigger, such as flying, produces a strong physical response (sweaty palms, fast breathing, panic, etc). The brain learns quickly and thereafter, every time the person is presented with the same stimulus, their body knows to have the same response. The amazing thing is people with phobias NEVER forget to have this response. This is the perfect one-time learning strategy! Often, as with phobias, you run strategies that do not serve – they even sabotage you. NLP teaches us how to change these ineffective strategies or programmes forever.

To bring it altogether, NLP symbolises the relationship between the brain, language and the body. It describes how what we say, think and do interplay and affect our body and our behaviour and our results.

 So, what next?

Download our free e-book and find out more about our success formula or browse our courses to see how Team NLP can help.

Download your FREE copy:
Principles for success 

New Team NLP course:
Online resilience 

From Stressed Out to Chilled Out

From Stressed Out to Chilled Out

How well do you cope with stress. Team NLP can help

You can think of your resilience as the amount of energy you have stored in an inner battery — energy you have available to use not only physically, but also mentally and emotionally. When you have a high level of resilience or a fully charged inner battery, you have greater capacity to remain calm, think clearly and be in control of your emotions so you don’t overreact. Like a drained car battery, when your inner battery is depleted, there isn’t energy to draw from when you need it, making it difficult to be at your best and respond well in tough, and sometimes very ordinary situations. We can describe differences in stress as good stress such as the ability to rise to a challenge, tolerable stress that we manage with the help of family, friends, colleagues and toxic stress when we feel out of control.  Toxic stress can lead to panic attacks, addictions, over-eating and so on.

This week on the Team NLP blog we discuss how to build our resilience using practical and easy strategies

Here are some useful and practical strategies to build your own resilience.  And, if it’s a topic of interest have a look at our new on-line resilience course details below.

Changing your Mindset

Part of our response to stress derives from our individual interpretation of events.  A person who thinks of challenges as opportunities to grow and who believes that failures are ways in which we can learn is likely to have a different response to a challenging event from person who treats challenge as threatening and failure as a devastating indication that they are no good as a person.  Stress is a response to our interpretation of events rather than to events themselves.  We therefore need to consider why individual interpretations of events differ.  Many people catastrophise and tell themselves a story which makes a possible outcome much worse than it turns out to be.  Are you one of these people?  If so, ask yourself, where’s my evidence for this story I am telling myself?  How would I like it to be instead?  Often developing a mantra that you can tell yourself in moments of toxic stress are useful. I always tell my self that ‘every problem has a solution’ and it works for me.

Developing confidence in your ability to solve problems and trusting your instincts helps build resilience. Keep things in perspective. Even when facing very painful events, try to consider the stressful situation in a broader context and keep a long-term perspective. Avoid blowing the event out of proportion.

Just Breathe

When you experience positive emotions, your physiology is naturally more coherent. This quickly recharges your inner battery and builds your resilience. You can intentionally create more coherence throughout the day by practising the following.

Step 1: Focus your attention in the area of the heart. Imagine your breath is flowing in and out of your heart or chest area, breathing a little slower and deeper than usual.

Suggestion: Inhale 5 seconds, exhale 5 seconds (or whatever rhythm is comfortable).

Step 2: Make a sincere attempt to experience a regenerative feeling such as appreciation or care for someone or something in your life.

Suggestion: Try to re-experience the feeling you have for someone you love, a pet, a special place, an accomplishment, etc., or focus on a feeling of calm or ease.

So, what next?

Next time we’ll be talking about how it can help if you align your goals with your purpose in life. Meanwhile, download our free e-book and find out more about our success formula, or browse our courses to see how Team NLP can help.

Download your FREE copy:
Principles for success 

New Team NLP course:
Online resilience 

Setbacks – how to learn and move on up!

Setbacks – how to learn and move on up!

2020 goals : a Team NLP blog mini-series

How many of you have set goals for 2020? …and how are you getting on?

We’ve all set New Year resolutions or goals only to find that they’ve all but evaporated by February (or even sooner!). Willpower alone isn’t enough to make change. Every year in January, millions of people commit to new year’s resolutions for change in the coming year. Nearly half are related to health (such as weight loss and fitness). Yet 80% will fail by February.

Last week I spoke about our Principles for Success that I personally use to achieve my goals. Yet things don’t always go your way. The art is to not let these setbacks shake your focus. This week we’re going to talk about ways to learn from setbacks and keep going on your journey to bigger and better things.

Actually acknowledging when things go off-piste can be the key to future success. Without things going wrong we can’t fully understand what we need to do to succeed. Don’t waste energy on self pity. Ask yourself ‘What can I learn from this and do differently in future?’ and re-frame past mistakes as  opportunities to move onto even greater things.

 

Here’s how…

Stop the blame game

It’s often easier to find something or someone else to blame for your own issues rather than holding the mirror up to yourself. Maybe you started that healthier way of eating on the 1st January but now you’re starting to find excuses to fall off the wagon: It’s only one drink or I’ll make up for it tomorrow. It’s my friend’s fault for tempting me! 

Cut yourself a little slack – we all slip off the wagon from time to time. What makes the difference is getting back on it after you ask yourself ‘how did I create this’ and ‘what do I need to change in future’.  In NLP terms this puts you firmly at ‘cause’ in your life and back in control

Be nice to yourself

Things are rarely black and white and so when things go partially right, for example you lose 7 lbs rather than 10 lbs don’t assume that as you haven’t been 100% successful that you have failed.  Praise yourself for what you have achieved and build on this success by learning the tweaks you can make to your plan. Also remind yourself that you have had the guts at least to have a go and that is worth so much.

Embrace the unknown

We often fear what we don’t know and as humans are great at doing a number on ourselves until we talk ourselves out of something. It goes something like ‘’I really want to learn to dance, but what if I’m no good, what if no-one speaks to me, what if I make myself look silly. Maybe I’ll leave it to next week’… does this sound familiar? If this resonates with you think about times in the past when you were a bit fearful and it worked out much better than you thought. This helps you to keep a positive mindset.

Check your reality

We generalise our experiences so if we tried something once and it didn’t work we transfer the same thought process to similar events now. The result is that we distort our perceptions of a new goal and you think its less attainable than it actually is. This is just a perception it isn’t real. Don’t allow your old, skewed thoughts to stand in your way. For example, if you had a bad experience with on-line dating once it doesn’t mean it will be bad this time. Remember what you learnt from the previous experience and have another go… you may find your soulmate this time around!

Aim for smaller wins

The reason why many people struggle in achieving their goals is that they aim too high.  Sure a stretch is good and, in NLP, we talk about goals being achievable and realistic. If you are aiming for a £1m house on a £20k salary you may need some smaller steps to get there! Change is most likely to happen when we make achievable goals that we increase over time. It helps because the more you achieve your interim successes the more confident you will feel to spur you on to even greater things.

So what next?

Next time we’ll be talking about how it can help if you align your goals with your purpose in life. Meanwhile, download our free e-book and find out more about our success formula, or browse our courses to see how Team NLP can help.

 

Download your FREE copy:
Principles for success 

New Team NLP course:
Online resilience 

How to make 2018 your best year yet!

How to make 2018 your best year yet!

As we approach the holiday season I wanted to wish you and yours a healthy, peaceful and happy time.  I always use the holiday period to think about the year ahead and do some planning.  So, I am wondering if you are also considering making some changes in your life in 2018?  Maybe you are considering changing career, starting your own business, becoming healthier and fitter, re-vitalising or changing your relationship or even filling a void left by children leaving home?

Where ever you are now, the start of the year is a great moment to take stock and make an agreement with yourself that 2018 will be the start of something new for you.  I wanted to share with you what I call the NLP ‘Principles of Success’ which you can work through in your own time to stack the deck in favour of you achieving the goals you set for 2018.

Principle No. 1- Get Clear on What You Want
Think about something important that you want to achieve over the next twelve months.   What really motivates you?  Now check that goal is SMART ie specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timed.  For example, I want to lose weight is not clear enough. I want to lose 10 pounds by the 1st April is clear.  Focus on your goal.  Whatever you put your attention on in your life will grow stronger.  Write down your goal and check that it is SMART.

Principle No. 2 – Know Why it is a Must
What are your reasons for wanting to achieve this goal?  List all the positive things that will happen when you achieve your goal.  Now ask yourself ‘If I don’t do this now what will it ultimately cost me?’  Notice that when you have enough compelling reasons for your goal you will be more motivated to go for it!

Principle No. 3 – Take Massive Action
Are you prepared to do whatever it takes to achieve your goal including things you do not want to do?  Think right now of one small step you can take today to begin to move towards your goal.  Challenge yourself by asking if you are taking personal and 100% responsibility for your goal.  Because, to the extent that you do not, you are giving your personal power away.

Principle No. 4 – Know What you are Getting
Be very aware of what works and what doesn’t.  Ask for feedback, and constantly evaluate your approach.  Think of feedback as a gift and remember to learn from any action that doesn’t go quite to plan.

Principle No. 5 – Be Prepared to Change Your Approach
There is a saying ‘if you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got!  You must be prepared to be flexible and to move into the unknown.  Security is an attachment to the known and the known is our past.  No evolution in that.  When you experience uncertainty, you know you are on the right track – keep going because this is the moment when lots of people will give up.

Principle No. 6 – Ask for Help from Those who are Already Successful
When making changes, the most successful people in life model those who have already ‘done it’.  They do this by mixing with like-minded people, going on courses, being coached or simply asking for advice.  You will find that with the appropriate support you the process of change becomes less scary and more enjoyable and your chances of success will be greatly increased.

And, if you want to set yourself up for success in 2018 then come along to my 1-day ‘Introduction to NLP’course on the 13th January 2018.  Cost £99 all in!  For further details and to sign up click here: https://thechangecorporation.com/introduction-to-nlp-1day-seminar/

Is Neuro Linguistic Programming old hat?

Is Neuro Linguistic Programming old hat?

Recently, I was challenged after a key-note presentation I gave about the benefits of NLP and how it can change your life.  Someone came over and challenged me by saying ‘Isn’t NLP rather old hat these days?  I was rather taken aback as I have used NLP as my tool-kit for change with individuals and teams since I began my NLP journey in 1997.  However, this comment got me thinking.

NLP is now 40 years and we have developed a whole raft of tools and techniques that can help anyone improve individual and team performance. These can be applied in both professional and personal lives. NLP still gives you immediate and practical benefits, which so often lead to deeper and more lasting change as you begin to reassess and look at the world in a different way. You then have more choices available to you.  NLP evolved from the study of top human performers and revealing the structure of their excellence. The question NLP has always focused on is: ‘What is the difference that makes the difference?’

However, it has not stood still and has evolved over recent years.  Two areas that I have personally got involved in over the last two years, and now include in my NLP training programmes, are:

  • The application of applied neuro science and NLP
  • mBraining, the process of aligning and harnessing the power of your multiple brains

Now scientific knowledge is finally catching up with NLP and I agree that is a good thing.  We now find that the rigour of neuroscience research is being combined with the power and practical techniques of NLP.  This is providing the next evolution of NLP in that we are now beginning to understand why these NLP how-to techniques actually work from a neuroscience perspective.  A little neuro science goes a long way and gives us new insight and a real unique edge.

With mBraining, again it is the latest neuroscience findings that have shown us how to align our fully functional brains in our heart, gut and head to increase our intuitive abilities and to generate wiser decision-making in daily life.  mBraining expands upon the NLP model and provides a way of significantly advancing what is possible with NLP as working with three brains rather than one adds significantly to how you do NLP.

So, it seems that there is a whole new kind of credibility around NLP that helps us to deal with an ever increasing VUCA world.  VUCA stands for volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous. It absolutely gives us a strategy for steady and engaging leadership in an unsteady world.