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How to Avoid Getting Stuck in Crisis Mode

How to Avoid Getting Stuck in Crisis Mode

I am writing this from my own home where we were put into effective ‘lock-down’ this week.  My husband reluctantly closed the doors of his coffee shop exactly 6 years from the day he opened it – how ironic is that?  For the first time since 2005 when I started my consulting business, I have no work other than a few on-line coaching sessions.  So, this represents the biggest shift in our daily lives ever and the future of our businesses is uncertain. 

Social media is currently swamped with tips about how to deal with the crisis, yet most people are not following them.  They are not alone because information by itself does not get people to change their behaviour.  So why it is so hard for human beings to change their behaviour? 

In a crisis our routine goes out of the window which causes many of us to go into information overload along with high stress levels.  It’s feels a bit like attention deficit disorder or ADD as we find we can’t focus or concentrate on anything for very long.  Have you felt like this over the last few days? 

From a psychological perspective, we all have our unconscious habits and routines. In fact, Duke university measured in 2006 that at least 40% of our behaviours are entirely unconscious. This means that when we are triggered by certain things we behave in a certain way.  For example, every morning before I leave for work, I have toast and coffee for breakfast before catching the 6.30am train to London and so on.  So, when I am told to stay at home, and I can’t go to the office I am rapidly thrown off course.  The first thing we can all do is to recreate a feeling of stability in our lives and a structure to our day, especially now many of us are spending all day in the same place.  

This situation also creates a feeling of fear in many people.  We are scared of being hurt, we are scared of the economy, we are scared of not being in control, and now we are even scared of each other.  What can you do differently starting today? 

The risk that when in fear mode is that we feel stuck and end up doing what we know isn’t good for us such us spending all day eating and watching Netflix.  So, in our house we have been creating a new routine.  It is keeping to a similar timetable to ensure we all get enough sleep.  Sleep is needed for resilience.  For me personally, I make sure that I do my physical exercise followed by a full day in the home office working on priority tasks that I can do to ensure my business can survive into the future.  I stop at the ‘normal’ time and then have the evening for watching Netflix, reading and so on.  Start by asking yourself  ‘What is a normal day for me even in isolation?’.  This will start to re-create stability and structure.  Do it consciously and feel good about it. Next time more ideas to keep a positive mindset. 

More next time….

Stay safe,

 Lindsey Agness and Team NLP x

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Join us for our next free webinar on the 15th April at 7pm where both myself and other members of Team NLP will be talking about how to stay positive and keep moving forwards in this crisis.

How do you see the world?

How do you see the world?

There has been a lot in the media recently, especially since the untimely and very sad death of Caroline flack, about being kinder to each other. And, now we have the corona virus to deal with as it encroaches all of our lives.  This has been a lot on my mind as I believe that Neuro Linguistic Programming or NLP teaches us how to do this.  There are a set of beliefs of pre-suppositions of NLP which I want to talk about over several blogs. The presuppositions of NLP are otherwise known as convenient assumptions or beliefs, things that are plausible and generally good to assume. They form the bedrock for NLP in terms of helping relationships, improving communication and gaining the right mindsets for creating excellence and generally being good human beings.  At all of our trainings we expect our students to actively demonstrate they are applying these PSs in everything they do.  There are some differences between the schools of NLP about which is the ‘core’ set of PSs.  These are what I teach. 
 
The first one I want to talk about is having ‘Everyone has a unique Model of the World’. I remember that I was in my early 20’s, and a manager of staff for the very first time, when I noticed this to be the case.  I had an older member of staff (probably about the age I am now…lol) who just didn’t seem to understand the changes I wanted to make.  I realised then that we are all different and who is to say who is right and who is wrong? 

Rather than get into  conflict situation the challenge is to get into rapport to have any meaningful communication.  To do this it is important that you ‘Respect that other Person’s MOW’.  This is the next pre-supposition of NLP.  This doesn’t mean that we have to agree with the other person.  It does mean that we respect where they are coming from.  In having the curiosity to understand their viewpoint, we can then connect and find a place from which we can reach a satisfactory outcome.  Everyone has variances in the way they view the world based on their memories, beliefs, values and other internal filters. When you adopt these pre-suppositions, you can increase your effectiveness and sensitivity to the other person.  Change does not occur by standing at polar opposites, however, when you walk over in the other person’s shoes to see it from different angles, you can expand your own thinking and get a broader awareness of how to work together. 

I remember when I first stared work for a busy London Social Services office on the reception desk, my boss at the time explained to me that it was important that whoever came to the desk, whether I knew they were someone whose children had been taken away from them or a sweet old lady, it was my job to treat them the same, as I had no idea what had brought them each to the place they were at that moment.  As I got older and into NLP, I realised that was an embodiment of these pre-suppositions although I don’t think my boss had ever learnt NLP! 

The pre-suppositions are fundamental in building a more sensitive and kinder mindset in ourselves which is turn is mirrored in the world in which we live. 

More next time….

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