2020 goals : a Team NLP blog mini-series
How many of you have set goals for 2020? …and how are you getting on?
We’ve all set New Year resolutions or goals only to find that they’ve all but evaporated by February (or even sooner!). Willpower alone isn’t enough to make change. Every year in January, millions of people commit to new year’s resolutions for change in the coming year. Nearly half are related to health (such as weight loss and fitness). Yet 80% will fail by February.
Last week I spoke about our Principles for Success that I personally use to achieve my goals. Yet things don’t always go your way. The art is to not let these setbacks shake your focus. This week we’re going to talk about ways to learn from setbacks and keep going on your journey to bigger and better things.
Actually acknowledging when things go off-piste can be the key to future success. Without things going wrong we can’t fully understand what we need to do to succeed. Don’t waste energy on self pity. Ask yourself ‘What can I learn from this and do differently in future?’ and re-frame past mistakes as opportunities to move onto even greater things.
Stop the blame game
It’s often easier to find something or someone else to blame for your own issues rather than holding the mirror up to yourself. Maybe you started that healthier way of eating on the 1st January but now you’re starting to find excuses to fall off the wagon: It’s only one drink or I’ll make up for it tomorrow. It’s my friend’s fault for tempting me!
Cut yourself a little slack – we all slip off the wagon from time to time. What makes the difference is getting back on it after you ask yourself ‘how did I create this’ and ‘what do I need to change in future’. In NLP terms this puts you firmly at ‘cause’ in your life and back in control
Be nice to yourself
Things are rarely black and white and so when things go partially right, for example you lose 7 lbs rather than 10 lbs don’t assume that as you haven’t been 100% successful that you have failed. Praise yourself for what you have achieved and build on this success by learning the tweaks you can make to your plan. Also remind yourself that you have had the guts at least to have a go and that is worth so much.
Embrace the unknown
We often fear what we don’t know and as humans are great at doing a number on ourselves until we talk ourselves out of something. It goes something like ‘’I really want to learn to dance, but what if I’m no good, what if no-one speaks to me, what if I make myself look silly. Maybe I’ll leave it to next week’… does this sound familiar? If this resonates with you think about times in the past when you were a bit fearful and it worked out much better than you thought. This helps you to keep a positive mindset.
Check your reality
We generalise our experiences so if we tried something once and it didn’t work we transfer the same thought process to similar events now. The result is that we distort our perceptions of a new goal and you think its less attainable than it actually is. This is just a perception it isn’t real. Don’t allow your old, skewed thoughts to stand in your way. For example, if you had a bad experience with on-line dating once it doesn’t mean it will be bad this time. Remember what you learnt from the previous experience and have another go… you may find your soulmate this time around!
Aim for smaller wins
The reason why many people struggle in achieving their goals is that they aim too high. Sure a stretch is good and, in NLP, we talk about goals being achievable and realistic. If you are aiming for a £1m house on a £20k salary you may need some smaller steps to get there! Change is most likely to happen when we make achievable goals that we increase over time. It helps because the more you achieve your interim successes the more confident you will feel to spur you on to even greater things.
So what next?
Next time we’ll be talking about how it can help if you align your goals with your purpose in life. Meanwhile, download our free e-book and find out more about our success formula, or browse our courses to see how Team NLP can help.